The Greatest Thing EVER TBH
On the morning of George Zimmerman’s acquittal of Trayvon Martin’s murder earlier this year, with the mainstream media raising the specter of riots, blogger Jay Smooth made a prediction: ‘The fundamental danger of an acquittal is not more riots, it is more George Zimmermans.’
There were no riots. There have been more George Zimmermans.
And as one viral tweet put it, how ironic that a bunch of white women acquitted him of murdering a Black child and now he’s back in jail for assaulting a white woman. Ain’t that Amerikkka…
Imagine if marriage didn’t exist, and you’re a guy asking a woman to get married. Imagine what that conversation would be like (x)
and she told me Walmart fucked up on their add here
did something mad stupid and had a bunch of electronics including 50 inch flat screens on sale for $8, and Lysol bottles on sale for $100 (but no one bought no air freshner)
so to make up for their fuck up with printing the add
they took away their store employees xmas bonus
they probably also took it out of the employees’ hours. shrink (which includes mispriced items—walmart won’t fight customers if the customer claims something was, say, on a five-dollar shelf/rack when it rings up as ten dollars—shoplifted items, damaged merchandise, items that are returned but damaged by the customer/unsellable, etc.) and customer accidents that result in monetary compensation come out of employee bonuses, but also available hours. employees could live without the bonuses if we got hours that added up to a living wage, but we don’t. also, at least where i work, our hours get cut after we get bonuses to make up the difference. and when you consider that the bonuses are based on average hours worked a week, and almost no part time employee (the majority of employees are part time) gets more than 24-28 hours, the bonuses are very small. my last paycheck with a bonus on it was about 40 bucks less than the paycheck before it.
(also, upper level management gets their bonuses no matter what.)
and tangentially: that’s why the YAY AWESOME FUCK WALMART response to assholes destroying merchandise and being disruptive makes me furious, because there’s literally nothing you can do to hurt walmart other than NOT SHOPPING THERE. everything else fucks over the employees and that’s it. everything else comes out of our paychecks.
You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.
If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.
Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.
Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.
Julien Smith, The Flinch (via larmoyante)
This is total bullshit. Inspiring? Sure.
But come on. Millions of humans can’t set fire to anything because we can barely motivate ourselves to get out of bed every morning.
And that’s okay, too.
I hate the kind of motivational speeches that talk about grand sweeping change like it’s something that you can just wake up one day and do. If you’ve ever suffered from depression, even mild depression, or SAD, or even if you’re at risk for depression, if you’re grieving or suffering from emotional abuse or withdrawal or if you have low self-esteem or even if you’re just introverted and anxious—
in other words, if you’re a human being with frailties—
then even small changes can require grueling effort and months of constant fear-conquering and pep-talking and convincing yourself that you’re worth it, worth even the *tiniest* amount of self-care and commitment to routine and discipline.
I wish there were more motivational speeches that remind you that it’s okay to be a mess, it’s okay to not be in this process of rewriting yourself once a month or a decade or becoming some new enlightened phoenix. It’s okay to still be in your nest staring at your ashes going “ugh I should probably… get a broom and at least try and get rid of this soot” and still sit there flopping your wings thinking stuff like “UGH MAYBE I’LL RISE FROM THESE ASHES TOMORROW, heck, maybe even go out to the store or hang out with friends if the weather’s nice,” and then still sit there continuing to play Candy Crush or marathoning Game of Thrones or whatever the fuck
You don’t have to be Martha Stewart to be awesome. You don’t have to be on a constant journey of self-discovery to be a talented, creative human. We’re not only valuable when we’re actively trying to change everything about ourselves and morph into some new perfect super-human.
We’re valuable even when we’re just sitting here in front of the computer not changing a single thing about ourselves, whether it’s through shyness, depression, lack of motivation, fear, ambivalence, complacency, contentedness, or all of the above.
This is also how we’re human. This is also an okay way to be.
I have spent almost as long as I can remember trying to be a different person because everyone always told me it wasn’t okay to be the person I was. I thought being shy meant my teachers would never like me and I’d never get a job and I’d fail at everything. I thought being queer meant I would spend my entire adult life as a total outcast.
Fuck that noise. My favorite professor knew I was shy as fuck and asked me to work with him anyway and it was awesome. I got a good job (and another, and another, and another) and have never been fired yet. I have friends who don’t care that I’m shy because they’re shy too, or because they’re not shy and we complement each other nicely. I came out to my friends and family and they didn’t shun me. I’ve gotten to be part of amazing queer communities. I am queer and I am shy and I can kick ass anyway. Not always. Not at everything. But then neither do outgoing straight people.
Being shy isn’t easy. Being queer isn’t easy. Being female isn’t easy and being mixed race isn’t easy. But I’ve found that the only thing harder than being who you are is trying to be someone you’re not. “You can change what you want about yourself at any time.” How incredibly, blindly heterosexual, cisgender, white, able-bodied, neurotypical, and middle+ class does that sound? There are some things you cannot change; there are some things you maybe could change in theory but it wouldn’t be worth the cost. “You can change what you want about yourself at any time.” No. But you can change, sometimes, if you work hard, how you feel about yourself. You can learn to feel good about yourself, if you’re not constantly thinking about all the things you’re not and berating yourself for failing to be those things because “you can change what you want about yourself at any time.”
Live by your own goddamn values instead of listening to some stranger who makes his living convincing people that they’re not good enough and need his advice to become so. So what if I don’t go the party? Why do you think I have some kind of moral/cosmic obligation to go to the party? Why should I feel bad about myself if I choose to do something else instead? The world needs people who like parties and people who don’t. (This is science! http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/amp/61/6/622/)
1. “Can I use your computer?”
They don’t need you all up in their shit. They don’t need you typing a single letter into the YouTube search bar and getting prompted to go on a journey through all of the “announcing to the parents we’re pregnant/engaged” happy-cry videos that they enjoy watching in their private leisure time. A person’s laptop is their sacred sphere of masturbation and hate-stalking and messages sent to crushes while drunk at two in the morning. It is not for public consumption. Besides, everyone knows you just want to check your Facebook and dick around for a few minutes. There is no need to make someone sweat bullets and reconsider every digital decision they ever made over that nonsense.2. “How much did you pay for [insert object here]?”
Maybe if you’re really cool with the person and you have a distinct, practical reason for wanting to know the cost of something, it could pass for an acceptable question. And yes, sometimes you can’t help but vomit up the question “How much didthatcost??” when you see something that looks 50 shades of unaffordable. But talking about money is the conversational equivalent of shaking hands after not washing them in the bathroom. There is no reason for you to know about how much that purse cost, even if you really want it or are incredibly suspicious as to how this sweaty plebe managed to get their hands on it. You do the classy thing, wait until you get home and Google the shit out of it.3. “Still on the job search?”
You will know when that shit is over the second it happens. Trust. The unemployed person will burst through your window covered in rhinestones and throw confetti all over your living room, followed by a banner that says in glittery bubble lettering, “I got a job!!!” Until then, it’s not over.4. “Don’t you know that [insert junk food here] is bad for you?”
I want to know exactly what part of the human brain motivates people to say this shit. Because let’s be clear, there is not a human alive who goes up to a pretzel stand at the mall while out doing their shopping and orders a jalapeno cheddar twist with nacho cheese dipping sauce and a lemonade slushy and thinks that they are doing their body a favor. We all know that shit is bad, and health is not why we eat it. We eat it because it tastes like dreams and affection and a warm blanket on a cold night and makes us temporarily forget that we have to go wander under the oppressive fluorescent lighting of Pottery Barn for two hours to help a friend do her wedding registry. The only reason you ask someone if they know that it’s bad is because you are a jealous little bridge troll who wishes they could be eating that stuffed-crust pizza, and will accept the paltry substitute of ruining it for the person who actually is.
Haters.5. “Eww, why do you like [insert band/genre of music here]?”
I LIKE CELINE DION BECAUSE SHE IS AN AMAZING SINGER AND HER GOD-GIVEN TALENT TRANSCENDS YOUR CONDESCENDING JUDGMENT.6. “Still single?”
Yeah, that’s what you do when you see a bleeding axe wound in the middle of someone’s chest, so gaping and raw that you can occasionally see the overworked muscles of their barely-surviving heart moving with the last bit of energy their struggling body can muster. You grab a handful of emotional sea salt and you rub that shit in until your hands give out from exhaustion.7. “Why are you so quiet?”
There are only one of two legitimate answers here:
1. “I am generally a fairly introverted person, and I have a hard time being really outgoing in new social situations, so I am trying to just hang back a little bit and observe until I feel a bit more comfortable. And your questioning of my behavior only further confirms my suspicion that my inability to just ‘be cool’ in the way others seem to makes me stick out like a sore thumb and gives me further reason to not even try stepping out of my comfort zone.”
2. “I am in a bad mood for reasons I’d rather not discuss, even though I am trying my best to remain normal and be around other people. The best way of handling this, for me, is to just be a bit more quiet than usual as I take things in and reflect on the things which are troubling me. But now that you’ve taken the opportunity to point out how weird I’m being, I guess that means I’ll have to either go home to be sad in private or force myself to put on a show of being happy when I really just want to cry.”
And both of these make you look like an asshole.
The only one I disagree with is 2, because I’m from New England where it’s my divine right to dissect in intimate detail the costs of every item in my viewpoint. ”I LIKE UR SCARF” ”THANKS I BOUGHT IT FOR 5 DOLLARS AT MARSHALL’S DOWNTOWN. THE ONE ON THE CORNER, YOU KNOW? IF YOU MAKE A RIGHT AT THE JEWELRY COUNTER THERE’S A BARGAIN BIN WHERE THIS SHIT IS JUST LYING AROUND WAITING FOR YOU TO PAW THROUGH IT. TRUST ME. FIVE DOLLARS.” MAY I NEVER LIVE ANYWHERE WHERE THE INSTINCTIVE RESPONSE TO A COMPLIMENT IS NOT A CRAZED MONOLOGUE ABOUT THE SALE FROM WHICH IT WAS BOUGHT. KILL ME.
The proper response to #7 is, “Why do you talk so much?”
i made a sweater to wear for thanksgiving
what I’m doing with my life
if I have a driver’s license yet
if I’m going to go to grad school